Sunday, September 14, 2014

EVOLUTIONARY PARTNERSHIPS


Are we ready to evolve in how we related to each other, regardless of the form, so that we can finally begin to live into the highest and most loving version of ourselves? Craig Hamilton of Integral Enlightenment, says yes!

Many of us have sense that there’s a potential for an extraordinary type of human relationship, marked by an unprecedented level of intimacy, vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency, essentially being with each other without any boundaries or barriers, being together truly beyond ego.

Over the past few years I have written several articles that have been on the topic of enlightened partnering or conscious relationships for the 21st Century. These articles have spoken not only to romantic relationships but have addressed all forms of how we relate to each other. So when I read an article based on some of the teachings of Craig Hamilton, on A Radical Way to Grow Spiritually in Relationship, I was thrilled.
First he mentions that there are three categories of people:

1) Those who have no interest in your personal/spiritual evolution or their own
2) Those who are curious and interested in personal/spiritual evolution, but who aren’t as committed as you to the spiritual path
3) Those who are totally committed to doing their own work and growing with you in an active partnership (what he calls “evolutionary relationships”).


I called these Spiritual or Enlightened Relationships but Craig uses the term Evolutionary which I think is even more accurate. Since the beginning of humanity we have evolved from Pro-Magnum man to the present form of Homo sapiens. This has been an evolutionary journey and our evolution as a species never stops for in truth if it did humanity would surely annihilate itself. Since we are continuing to evolve in consciousness it makes perfect sense that we should evolve in how we relate to one in other.

Craig says that an evolutionary relationship is not necessarily one that is about romance or sex at all. In fact, that dimension can often complicate things. He says that many of us are ready to experience an extraordinary way of being in human relatedness marked by an “unprecedented level of intimacy, vulnerability, authenticity, and transparency, essentially being with each other without any boundaries or barriers, being together truly beyond the ego”.

You may have experienced this type of relationship already or had a taste of it. I know that I have if only for a brief moment in time. You may have sensed the potential with someone to move into a more dynamic, growing, vital, dynamic, and thriving connection, resisting the urge to rest on familiar, known ground but have not known how to go about cultivating it. Very few relationships will ever evolve to this level as it requires a rare quality of dedication to self-awareness that is often a life-long pursuit. Craig teaches us how to be proactive about cultivating such relationships. To do this requires essentially establishing a sacred contract, setting up what he calls “an evolutionary partnership”, which can be governed by the following radical principles.



Principles of an Evolutionary Partnership

1. The very context and organizing principle of the relationship is conscious evolution beyond ego.
This is the very purpose of why we’re in the relationship. Instead of organizing around comfort, survival, mutual benefit, comfort, and connection, in this kind of relationship, we explicitly commit to coming together for a higher purpose. That’s the “why” of the whole thing. We have a shared agreement for why we’re here. Instead of colluding together to protect and preserve the status quo of the relationship, we’re willing to put the relationship at risk, to constantly challenge the relationship, as a way to evolve spiritually together, as a way to avoid falling into stuck, habitual patterns that lead the relationship to go to sleep.

2. We agree to be mutually accountable to something higher than ourselves.
In most conventional relationships, we’re attempting to negotiate between two people’s individual needs and desires. The personal self is the only context we have, so the relationship is the result of two isolated personal selves with their own unique agendas attempting to negotiate so they can be in relationship together without too much conflict. Typically, we ask, “What do YOU want to do? What do I want to do? What are we both willing to give up so we can meet in the middle?” But in an evolutionary relationship, our #1 priority is aligning with Divine will, rather than focusing exclusively on our own personal desires or the desires of the person we’re in partnership with. When a conflict comes up, we’re interested not just in both personal points of view, but in what’s the right thing to do from the highest perspective, in service to the highest good of all beings. It’s about not caring so much what you get out of the relationship or what the other person gets out of it. It’s more about a mutual seeking of truth, of what’s right and whole and aligned. We ask, instead, “What’s the right thing to do to the best that we can discern it?” This way, there is no fundamental conflict. You both want the same thing…the highest good, rather than focusing on personal desires. You’ll always find your way through when you’re genuinely prioritizing this outcome. There is no “winner” or “loser” because the highest good always wins- and you both want that.

3. We recognize that we have an ego, that we’re prone to error.
Because we acknowledge that we both have egos, we know that we are prone to misinterpretation of circumstances. I defined ego here, according to Craig’s definition, so don’t be misled by a term that often gets misused. Read what I wrote about ego here. When we both acknowledge our own egos and our potential for error, we come together with the commitment to try to see clearly, beyond the ego. This means we’re willing to call each other on unhealthy patterns and try to break those patterns. It’s an exercise in mutual humility, acknowledging that we aren’t going to do it right, that our egos are going to screw us up, but that we’re mutually committed to trying to uncover what is true, in spite of being prone to error. This way, there’s no compulsion to defend your point of view. You’re both committed to seeing what is true. It’s a radical act, to be willing to stop defending your motives whenever you are challenged. Because we both have egos, we must recognize that we’re prone to distortions and be willing to acknowledge that with humility.

4. Despite the fact that we have egos and are prone to error, we want to be accountable to our potentials, to our highest and best selves.
This means that even though both parties know we are prone to errors in judgment and distortion, we’re not using that as an excuse at all. We are acknowledging that we always have a choice in the matter. Our egoic limitations are not an excuse for not showing up fully. We acknowledge that we have a right to expect this from each other, even though we have egos and tendencies for error. This only works with two people who are really committed to showing up in this way, wanting to be accountable and be held accountable. It’s not about always getting it right. We’re going to screw up. It’s not about beating each other up for our tendency to be prone to error. It’s about committing to operating at a risk-taking edge, which requires a lot of trust and commitment to mutual accountability.

5. The context for our engagement together is about leaning into our evolutionary edges, where we’re growing and evolving, sharing a mutual interest in our evolving edges.Rather than meeting in our limitations, fears, and doubts, colluding in how we’re failing to show up to our highest potential, complaining about what doesn’t work, we take a stand for meeting in service to our highest potentials. Some relationships are based on sharing every that’s wrong or not working or where we’re struggling or fearful. This fifth principle is about making that off limits, not that there’s no place to talk about your limitations, but that the relationship is meant to lift up what’s possible, rather than to devolve into a shared bitchfest that drags both parties down. The context for the engagement, therefore, is from a place of desiring to manifest our highest potential, taking a stand for one another’s higher potential, reaching for what’s possible, sharing what comes up as we awaken. It’s a positive, uplifting context for engagement, but a challenging one, because it’s a stretch and requires moving out of habitual patterns that tend to plague a lot of spiritually-minded or psychologically-minded relationships.

6. We agree to be mirrors for one another.
Rather than merely affirming each other’s self-image, as most relationships operate, we agree to reflect to the other person things about who they are that might be outside of their awareness. We tend to see others more clearly than we see ourselves. As evolutionary partners, we agree to lovingly and gently, without judgment, point out blind spots in each other to help illuminate what we might not be seeing clearly in ourselves. This includes mirroring back not only negative traits- things that need to evolve- but also positive things that we may not see within ourselves. This includes mirroring back how we’re growing and where we’re making progress. We can not only help undo negative patterns; we can also mirror back the uplifting things we may not see in ourselves. This means being willing to challenge each other’s assumptions, really striving to help each other see ourselves more clearly.

7. We aspire to set an example for one another.
We are not perfect. We are not going to always get it right. But we are aspiring to model what it means to have an evolutionary and enlightened relationship to life, stretching vulnerably into the unknown. We aspire to uplift each other through our own examples. This means radical transparency. In many close relationships, you devolve when you get comfortable. You let that person see your worst self. But in these relationships we aspire to be our best selves, not our worst self with each other.

Are You Involved In Any Evolutionary Relationships? Do You Feel They Are Possible?
What have you learned from engaging with another person in this way? What challenges have you faced? What triumphs have you experienced? Share your wisdom and stories in the comments.

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Unwinding, Unraveling and Opening to Being Presence

These past few weeks have been a true opportunity for me to let go of everything I have been striving for in the outer world. Yes, I returned from a conference where I was a presenter, and felt such a let down. I know that part of that was due to my wanting to have had a different outcome from that trip, but also it was because I had been so geared up for weeks preparing that after it was over I felt done. No motivation to go on, to do anything regarding work. I fortunately, have had some time to be able to allow myself to just let go of the doer, and unwind even more from that place. As I went deeper into the feelings of not only physical exhaustion but of the constant pushing myself to get things done, to be the entrepreneur and promote my work etc. I began to just unravel what has been running me most of my adult life.

I have pretty much always wanted to have my own business or my own work be what I do full time. I thought that if I just achieved that I would be somebody. I would be able to support myself comfortably, I would have recognition in the women's community, I would have the community I wanted and the new friends etc. The realization that my life was not a reflection of any of those things and that where I am is a far cry from what I wanted, was what I needed to accept. Resistance shows up as anything that you feel not at peace with. So in my case I was not at peace with my life on any level. Not only with my work or striving to have a career, but with my finances, my home situation, and even with my relationships. I needed to STOP all the seeking, running around and trying to create out there fulfillment. I needed to STOP and just face it all as it was, and accept my life the way it was. To really face the what if I never have the career I want, or the community or partner or money...what if I never achieve any of these things. Facing this is not small task as it requires a deep commitment to the TRUTH and a willingness to see what is TRUE about myself.

Unraveling the machine that was still running my life, even though I thought it wasn't. It was obvious that it was and that it was time to just stop everything. To lay all of it down at the feet of the Divine within myself and without that is life itself. That higher intelligence that is the creator/creatrix of everything. The all knowing, omnipresent and omniscient energy that you and I come from and are an expression of. For me striving for something, having an outer purpose to get up in the morning was what gave my life meaning. I was always driven by this purpose as you may be as well. And it is unfortunate that so many light workers and true spiritual seekers find themselves searching for this outer purpose first rather than focusing on their inner purpose which is to awaken to the Truth of who you are.

This unraveling of the doer and once again dropping into Being seemed to be what was the next unfoldment in my life. I have to say that although it felt like a relief it was also a bit scary to face everything that I had been running on and felt motivated by. What if I just stopped being motivated then what? Now I finally understood what Eckhart Tolle said when he shared that when he first truly awakened he sat on a park bench for 2 years and did nothing. He was just being and for the first time being was more important than doing. The discovery of who one is, to meet your True nature...to finally realize that because you exist you are enough has been for me a very monumental realization. This is not because I have not known this or even felt this at times, but it is because at this time in my life, I am ready to know it beyond a shadow of a doubt. For me, trusting my SELF in all ways, knowing that I AM enough, has been my life long soul's teaching. I exist therefore I Am, I Am therefore I exist. Nothing else is needed to fulfill or complete me. There is of course no me to complete when I recognize this as the Truth of who I am.

This unraveling of the doer and allowing myself to just be with whatever is showing up, to not feel driven to accomplish something each day or to get myself out there, is like rewiring my nervous system. I have known about the feminine way of being and have been opening to living my life more and more from that place, but have most of the time been practicing life from a more masculine energy. The feminine allows the masculine pushes and strives. The feminine supports through intention, the masculine has goals and take action to achieve them. Both are needed in the process of manifestation, but as I have learned, for women, it is crucial to learn how to turn on our feminine hormones, Oxytocin rather than to manifest through our adrenals and make it happen with Testosterone. To allow ourselves to first be, relax, move into a place of more alignment with who we are first, then to set our intentions and take inspired action from there. This has been for me a new way of manifesting, or as I like to say femafesting. It is something that has taken me time to adapt to, and as you can see I am still very new to living my life from the feminine way of being and doing. I can no longer live any other way since Being is the only way to truly accomplish anything with ease, grace and flow. There is of course a paradox in this as there always seems to be when speaking of these types of things.

You must first learn how to completely let go of being the doer in order for anything to actually get done with ease.


So as I met Myself once again, and was able to just let go again of the need to have my life be different from he way it is and to Stop everything, I found the peace I was seeking. From this place I have been able to do only what I am feeling inspired to do and yes I am still taking care of the practical things that need to be taken care of. But when I try to get motivated to work on my writing or "do" something from that old place I can't as I feel exhausted again. I am only willing to do what I feel inspired to do in each moment as much as possible. It seems that my life has had to fall apart completely in order for me to finally open up and learn how to live life from this new place of Acceptance, Being and Inspired Action.

Saturday, September 8, 2012

The New Devine Feminine

There is something exciting afoot these days that has been percolating for decades. This “something” is a new way of being for women and all people everywhere. For thousands of years the feminine energy has struggled to stay alive in a male dominated world. This energy has re-surged throughout history for periods of time. When it has thrived we have called it a Golden Age, for music, medicine, science, art, love and life have flourished. The old ideas of competition, might over right, private ownership, greed, domination and war virtually did not exist. Peace and prosperity reigned during these times and feminine based values of collaboration, co-creation, connection to the natural world and to each other. It has been several thousand years since the world has experienced a true Golden Age and a world and to our divinity, where all life was revered were honored and celebrated. Not since the Renaissance in Europe, have we known such a rebirth of art, science, and medicine where some of the patriarchal values shifted allowing the feminine to come forth once again. It has been foretold for thousands of years by both the Mayan Calendar and Vedas that 2012 was the beginning of another Golden Age, one that would last for 10,000 years. This Golden Age would be like no other for it would be during this time that a new world would be born. This world would once again bring into balance the masculine and feminine principles of life allowing the feminine energy to lead the way, but not the feminine as we have known it but in its new form, the Solar Feminine. The Solar Feminine began to stream onto the planet with the Venus Transit. We saw Venus in front of the Sun which was blazing its light behind and through her. Venus, the symbol of the love and the Divine Feminine, is now in front of the Sun which has been traditionally viewed as masculine. The feminine is now in the forefront of masculine energy but the masculine is supporting the feminine this time. There is no need for the feminine to go underground to survive in a male dominated world but rather to thrive, be fully seen and supported by all. The world is now ready to open its arms in a more loving embrace toward the feminine and has begun to truly see that embracing feminine values is not only a more conscious and loving way to live but a necessity if we are to survive. The New Divine Feminine is allowing a renaissance, rebirth of feminine based values to lead us into our promised Golden Age or The Age of Light. The New Divine Feminine is also bringing forth a new paradigm for women to live by. What I mean by this, is that what we have defined as feminine has been based upon masculine values and how men have interpreted what the feminine is and how they would like women to be. We have been brought up with these misinterpretations as have generations of our mothers and grandmothers. A new paradigm for women has needed to come forth so that women can learn how to live in a new way with each other. This new way of being encourages women to collaborate rather than compete, trust each other rather than mistrust, to value each other as much as they value being with a man and to honor and value themselves. When women embrace each other as the Divine Feminine incarnate then the world will follow. The New Divine Feminine is the next octave of the vibration of the feminine for the 21stCentury. It brings us the opportunity to create new archetypes of the feminine and masculine, to weave a new story of creation as we are living it and to align more and more with our destiny as spiritual beings having a human experience. We are all beginning to live our divine purpose as this new world takes shape based on the complimentary energies of both the Divine Masculine and the Divine Feminine, and as we learn how to integrate these energies within ourselves. Meditation on Your Inner Masculine and Feminine One of the most powerful ways you can integrate your inner masculine and feminine is through a ceremony that you design for yourself. You can take an inner journey to first meet your inner male or masculine side and ask him what he wants from you. What does he need to be strong and to feel supported? See him what does he look like? Feel him. Then do the same for your inner woman, feminine and ask her what she needs from you or from your inner male to feel supported. See her and feel her energy within yourself. You can allow the questions and answers to arise in the moment. Once you feel complete thank them and ask them if they would be willing to merge with each other within you. From here you can see your inner woman and man, or your feminine and masculine selves walking toward each other and simply merging with each other, or any way that you feel is right for you. When this is over sit quietly and tune into how you are feeling. You may discover that you feel more whole and peaceful now with both aspects of yourself. The New Divine Feminine is a new way for us to allow the feminine to lead us into this Age of Light. Women may take the lead in this but men too will follow. The story of Durga tells us that once when the world was threatened by demons who created much suffering and havoc on Earth, the kings and high standing men called upon the Goddess Durga to save the world. Durga is a Tibetan warrior goddess who is more fierce than even Kali. She responded to their call and answered that she would come and save the world. She did, and when all was restored and peace reigned again, she told the all the rulers on Earth that if they should ever need her again they should just call for Durga as it would be through the the feminine that the world could be saved again. To me this story reflects that it is through the fierce feminine energy and the restoration and implementation of feminine values that we as a culture, country and This is our choice, of course, but I choose to say 'Yes!' to this invitation and I invite you to do the same.

Saturday, August 4, 2012

A New Paradigm for Women

What is the true meaning of being a sister to another woman? This question of how women can create new ways of being with each other is an on going one for me. One the the key components for building trust between women is to give your women friends equal billing with your primary partner if you have one. It is unfortunate that our culture has fostered competition between women, so that women often find it hard to trust other women especially when it comes to men. It seems that what really causes us to compete with each other over a man is our "primal need factor". This is our primal urge to be protected and provided for by a man. This basic urge is often the motivation behind our behavior when it comes to "keeping our man," even though we may not be aware of it. Women have been accepting this need and acting it out for so long that it has become our norm, and so we just accept that this is how women are. But does this have to be the way it is? No, I believe it doesn't. We are more than just our primal instinctual urges. Maybe it was a necessity to have a man provide and take care of us thousands of years ago, but today we know that women are very capable of taking care of themselves. Choosing a mate is not solely based on needing food, shelter and protection any longer. And yet, many women still believe that this is so and operate from that prime directive. So where do we go from here? The idea that women can learn to trust another woman and no longer choose to be run by the need to compete with her for a man, or to keep him, is an idea whose time has come. I believe that by choosing to be a true friend and sister, or as I like to call it, a Temple Sister to another woman, we are choosing to create a new paradigm. Of course we have to practice being a Temple Sister first with our close friends. We have to embody the qualities that support that consciousness. Some of these qualities are: She recognizes that because she has the same body as every woman she is feels connected, bonded with all women everywhere. She sees herself in all women and has an open heart She is a woman who has learned to love and accept herself fully, in all ways and therefore can love and accept her "sister" in the same way. She is confident regarding her own abilities and therefore is willing to share herself with other women. She loves her body and feminine form just the way it is and can appreciate other women's beauty no matter what package it comes in. She has compassion for her own journey and therefore she can honor and have compassion for the journey of other women. You can actually read about all of the qualities of being a Temple Sister at The School of Womyn's Mysteries. In many cultures and societies women have always known that part of their power lies within having strong relationships with other women. For thousands of years,women have come together in circle to share their stories, to hold council and to bleed. What is new now is that we have entered into a new time in the world where we are ready to let go of our old programming of competition and distrust and to open to the new way of collaboration and sisterhood. I know that for myself, and I am someone who truly loves and appreciates my women friends, that somewhere deep inside is a feeling that someone prettier, younger or whatever is not to be entirely trusted. Most of the time this isn't an issue, but I know that if I have this feeling then other women do too. The new paradigm I speak of is a movement that starts from within ourselves first and so the work must be done on a personal level. From this place of healing ourselves we then reach out to other women, we can behave differently, we can respond and be with whatever situation arises in a more conscious and loving way. We can learn to treat each other the way we wish to be treated. There is no quick fix to creating a new way of being with women. Each of us must first commit to being the kind of woman/sister we want others to be for us. To end competition between us over a man we must first be willing to acknowledge that these feelings exist and secondly confront our fears and deal with them. We must also be aware that this is a very old pattern that has been held in place by the prevailing male dominant values that exist. And so our healing can only take place when we are willing to break free of these patterns and step into something new. I invite all of you to go to and sign-up for the FREE membership as a Temple Sister and become apart of this new movement.

Saturday, June 26, 2010

What Makes a Woman Alluring and the Power of the New Feminine Mystique




I love the word 'allure'. The word itself captivates one and I find it holds the energy of its meaning. To be alluring is 1) to temp or entice; 2) the power of attraction, 3) to beguile. It could also mean that one has charisma or even the power to seduce or be seductive. When one is 'alluring' the subject of the allurer is under a “spell” or so it may seem.

Don’t you just love knowing that if you are a woman you have the power to beguile? In fact that is where it all began in the mythical Garden of Eden when the Snake (symbol for sexuality) beguiled Eve to eat the apple of knowledge.

The question I wish to explore here is if this is the old definition of what it means to be alluring then what could the new definition be? For women this is an important question, for ever since the ‘fall’ we women have been trying to apologize for being a woman. I believe that the time has come to reshape, reconfigure and redefine what it means to be a woman who has allure or what I call 'feminine mystique'.

It has been for literally thousands of years that we have been told that it was our ability to entice men that caused the downfall of mankind. Our innate sexuality was too hot and alluring for man to handle. And so the word allure got a bad rap and women were told that to be too sexy, too enticing or seductive was wrong. Only bad girls did that, not good girls. And even though we wanted to please our mothers and fathers we also wanted to explore our bad girl nature.

Over 30 years ago Betty Friedan wrote the book, The Feminine Mystique. It rocked the feminist world and brought awareness to the roles of women, a subject that had never been questioned. Although this book was written decades ago, many of these ideas are still prevalent in our culture today. Betty Friedan’s book exposed the roles of women in the 50’s and 60’s as well as the attitudes that accompanied them, and as such allowed us to bring to light how women were so repressed by the social standards and mores of their day.

The Tantric Woman

In Tantra the woman is always seen as the more dynamic and active partner, especially in love making, for she is the expression of Shakti the Primal Goddess. She represents raw sexuality, uncontrolled emotions. She can be fierce or gentle. She is untamable and is our primal nature, the Wild Woman. This aspect of the feminine has always scared the male population and it has also scared many women. Of course this was not always the case, especially before the demise of the Goddess. But it has been the case for the past five thousand years. And so the time has come for women to embrace this aspect of her feminine nature and to use it with love, wisdom, and reverence and to hold it sacred.

The New Feminine Mystique


The New Feminine Mystique is a new possibility for you as a woman to shift the current way in which you embody and express your sexual power, your sexual allure and your feminine sexual essence. It is a conversation that explores what it means to be a fully-embodied sexually-awake, totally integrated woman. How we as women use our power, the power of our sex and sexual allure is a question whose time has come.

The New Feminine Mystique
takes the shame out being an alluring woman and redefines this age-old term. To be a woman who is alluring now can mean to be someone who has kept her passion and erotic nature alive, a woman who is inspired by her vision and who knows how to show herself in the best light. She wears her womanliness proudly and without apology. Her sexuality is appropriately expressed when it is the right time and is not used to manipulate others to get what she wants. She no longer needs to do that in order to survive. She is a woman who is virginal unto herself and knows that she can satisfy herself erotically and does not need a man to do this. Because of this she is not afraid of men and therefore can love them for being men. When a woman no longer needs a man to feel fulfilled she is then free to love them for being who they are.

With this as a guide more and more women can begin to stand tall and feel that being a sexually potent, fully impassioned and alive woman is magnificent and something to be celebrated.

We are faced with many challenges at this time in our history and it has been told by many, including the Dali Lama, that it will be through the women in North America that the world should look for its leadership. If this is true then it is up to women everywhere but most especially here in the U.S. to ask themselves if they are ready to become the women that they have always wanted to be.


For more information regarding The New Feminine Mystique please check out: www.womensmysteries.org/FeminineMystique.html and register for the free intro conference call.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

From the Sacred to the Profane

There was a time when sex and the act of making love was something that was considered sacred. It was an act that was a gift of the Goddess and as such was honored and thought of as a part of life. Both men and women were often initiated into sacred rites by a specially trained man or woman. It was through these rites that a young man or young woman became a responsible adult, someone who was now ready to undertake contributing to the whole community.

As temples were built in honor of the Goddess the responsibility of initiation was given to the temple priestesses. Some women were trained to become Temple Prostitutes, whose main role was to restore men back to wholeness after war and help them to reconnect with their soul and heart. These women would dance the dance of Shakti and be a vessel for the Goddess to come through. The personal self having stepped out of the way, She became a vehicle for the energy of the Goddess to flow through her.

In the temple of love the sacred prostitute’s primary offering to the goddess was her welcoming of the stranger, thought to be the emissary of the gods or perhaps the god incarnate. If she were a maiden, he initiated her into the mysteries of her feminine sexuality under the aegis of the goddess. Holy Whore as "a woman, who, through ritual or psychological development, has come to know the spiritual side of her sexuality, her true Eroticism, and lives this out according to her individual circumstances." (The Sacred Prostitute, Nancy Qualls-Corbett)

The Demise of Sacred Sex

Sex began to become profane with the onset of the Church's gradual annihilation of the role of the goddess and all that she represented. The sacred feminine went from holy to unholy, from sacred to profane and the sacred prostitute was drastically altered. There came a time when the goddess was no longer worshiped; the physical and spiritual aspects of the feminine were declared evil. From this point on women who represented sexuality and the goddess were also condemned by the Church Patriarchs as, “the embodiment of sensuous seduction, the reason for man’s downfall; she was tempted by evil forces and in turn tempted man.”(The Sacred Prostitute) So the act of sex was also condemned and taught that it could only be done for procreation of the species.

Sex then became profane and all natural bodily functions became gross, shameful, and not to be spoken of. As you may know, anything that is forbidden becomes a taboo, and all taboo’s are become desirable. Women are convinced over thousands of years, that having sexual desire is not a feminine quality so that any woman who desired sexual gratification must be unfeminine and a “whore”. The word 'whore' actually comes from the Hebrew root word ‘hor’ meaning dark pit or hole. The Spanish word for whore, puta, derives from the Latin term for a well, but the Latin term for grave, literally "a hole in the earth," is puticuli, meaning womb of rebirth. These terms for whore were not derogatory. The Latin term had its root in the Vedic, an early Sanskrit language, wherein the word puta is defined as pure and holy. The cave, the pit, the hole, and the bottomless black lake were metaphors for the Great Goddess. (Diana Rose Hartmann)

In Kathleen Barry's book, The Prostitution of Sexuality, she says that "sexual exploitation objectifies women by reducing them to sex; sex that incites violence against women and that reduces women to commodities for market exchange. Sexual exploitation is the foundation of women's oppression socially normalized."

I have always considered myself to be a sex positive individual and a rather open-minded woman when it comes to sex practices and all the different ways in which we humans like to "get off" or find our pleasure. As a woman who has been a sex educator and a teacher of sacred sexuality as well as a sexual healer, I have personally experienced what it means to be classified as a "sex worker" by the culture at large.

Today we see the result of these beliefs that have become normalized in our culture. Sex for the most part has become a thriving industry that makes billions of dollars yearly. Who sells these products? Women. It is a woman's body that is the commodity once again, and women, even well-paid women in the sex industry, are unconsciously supporting the system that exploits them and sex. The prostitution of sexuality is in full swing and because it is big business it is unlikely to change.

So what can you do, given that we are living in a world where sex is seen as entertainment rather than a sacred act of love. The following are a few things we can do to help shift sex from the profane back to sacred.

  • Open to a deeper sense of self and be willing to see the act of sex, whether it be for the sake of pleasure or love, as sacred.

  • Learn more about sacred sexuality, Tantra and other forms of 'high sex' which have made a comeback and continue to grow in popularity.

  • Educate your kids about the sacredness of love making and the sex act itself, as well as to encourage young girls to see themselves as valued for all of who they are, not just for their sexiness or beauty.

  • Take a stand and say 'no' to the sexploitation of teen girls and boys by the media. Join in partnership with other organizations that are in support of stopping this type of exploitation.

These are just a few ideas and I welcome any that you may have. Feel free to send in your ideas and comments.




Thursday, January 21, 2010

Awakening Once Again

Today was the day that I died a good death. A breakthrough sure why not call it that. In the midst of my suffering, the ego that is, the small self that we all feel attached to, I prayed for Grace, for peace and to remember who I Am. In the midst of my releasing the pain I created and create by identifying with the false self, a miracle occurred. The I dissolved into nothingness and the mind stopped. I remember both Eckhart Tolle and Gangaji saying the same thing basically, that when the pain gets to great in the pain body you can say STOP!!!!! And so I did. And my mind stopped and I was able to meet my-SELF once again. In this meeting of my-SELF I saw everything that has been happening in my life, all the drama, as not important, as perfect in it's opportunity to bring me to this place. I saw that what causes the suffering regarding anything that we may do is duality, judging something good or bad, right or wrong. I saw that it was my judging my particular situation as bad that was causing me all the tears and suffering of the pain body. In Truth it was a great blessing in that I am able to see how my judging my actions and those of another creates pain for me. Without the judgment the situation is neither good nor bad. It just is.

So today I have dropped out of the game of duality, for this moment, I am blessed and in deep gratitude for everything that has occurred over the past 5 days in my life. I know that whether I have a job or a career or a new car are not essentially important to my being fulfilled or happy. This does not mean that I don't have a hunger to share more of who I am, more of my gifts with the world and specifically with women. It just means that whether I have these things or not I am still ok, my life is still fulfilling and I can be happy. In my awakening once again to the Truth of who I Am, I remember what is really of value, what is really important and that I can just relax all of my need to have it be different.

We are all living at a time that is very tumultuous and perhaps even exciting. We may be feeling even more the uncertainty of our lives. We may be noticing that we really don't have control over everything that happens to us, in fact the paradox here is that we can only co-create our lives with All That Is, God and Goddess or whatever you choose to call the vast intelligence of the Yoniverse. We shape our lives by where we put our attention, what we think about and what we say or do. In this we are God/Goddess, but we also live in the mystery not knowing what will happen next. So it is a dance to learn how to live from both our knowingness of who we are and our surrendering to the unfolding of the mystery.

This is our challenge for those of us who have chosen the path of awakening. It requires constant vigilance and our complete commitment to serve That Which Is, call it Love, God/Goddess or the Unified Field.

I can only take each moment as it comes, be present to what is before me, and take a deep breath and relax into life. All the pushing, striving and longing to be different or have a different life will only bring you suffering if you do not accept and love all of who you are, and all of what you have created first. Then let it all go, surrender your entire life over to the Still Small Voice the Peace that is you and that you live in.